My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Did I show you my penis last night?
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
