When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
