Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
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