i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
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