I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
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When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
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Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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