there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
