I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
