It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
