he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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