well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
