the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
