It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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