WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
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