so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Randomize
