this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
