uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
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