He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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