Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
