Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
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