She's JV to your varsity
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
whose parrot is this?
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
