She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
