Welp...herpes.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
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