I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
