I'm eating all of the evidence.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
