Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
