there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
