My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
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