i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
