im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I cut my penus on the lid.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
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med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
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He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
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