i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize