i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
