i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
