It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Randomize
