Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
