I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I just want nice things and good sex
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
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