im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
