I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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