Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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