Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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