he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
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