hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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