Are we in a gay sports bar?
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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