I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize