I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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