Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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