I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
