New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
