Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
