thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
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