i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
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