Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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