My cat gives me a boner
No stitches, just platelets and will power
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
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