How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
