We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
