Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
The air taste purple.
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