I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
