Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
