Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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